MOUTH-TO-MOUTH WITH MY SCUBA DIVING INSTRUCTOR

I accidentally gave my scuba diving instructor mouth-to-mouth today.  It was so embarrassing…

As part of our training, we had to practice a ‘rescue dive,’ which is what we would do if we saw another diver that was unconscious.  We gathered at the bottom of the 15′ pool and each had to ‘rescue’ one of our instructors who were pretending to be unconscious.  My instructor, who was probably 25ish and looked like Ryan Gosling, had told me at the surface that it might be a little harder for me since I didn’t have the normal use of my legs, but to remember that he was ‘unconscious’ and it was more important to get him to safety, even if that meant awkward straddling and groping and so on.  I even joked about underwater humping at one point.

We got to the bottom, gave each other the OK symbol, and he laid on the bottom of the pool as though he was unconscious.  I went over, shook him, and proceeded with my ascent.  All of this went very well.  There was nothing awkward about it and I think I may have even done it better than most.

Once we got the surface, he instructed me to fill both of our BCD’s (the backpack like devices scuba divers wear to keep afloat) with air so that we would both be buoyant.  He then gave me instructions on how I would need to give him five breaths and then swim (and repeat until we got to safety).  “Are you ready to practice?” he said.

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“Yes,” and he closed his eyes.  I grabbed his nose and started with mouth-to-mouth.  As soon as he felt my breath his eyes bolted open and he screeched, “You don’t actually give me breaths!  We’re just practicing!  Cheek-to-cheek only here!”  And so I, with an extremely embarrassed ambiance about me, proceed to swim for 3-4 minutes, dragging him along, pretending to do mouth-to-mouth with my cheek.  This was the most humiliating part of my day.  Fortunately, it was the end of the day.

I started my approach to the ladder so I could get out of the pool.  I was exhausted at this point in time and ready to rid myself of my wet suit and gear (which included the BCD, air tank, and the hoses that connected it all).  I handed my gear to one of our instructors while another helped me out of the water.  On the edge of the pool, the instructor helped me out of my wet suit.  It was almost at my waist when she said, “You might want to put yourself back together,” and pointed at my left breast.  The wet suit had pretty much removed my swimsuit as well.  So all in a matter of twenty minutes I was able to expose myself and inappropriately give mouth-to-mouth.

In two weeks we will do four dives into a lake.  Tony made huge progress today and is becoming quite the scuba diver.  I am again very proud of him for fighting through it and keeping his spirits up, despite how frustrating it is at times.

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